June 4, Day 13

DISCLAIMER: long post, mostly because it’s a large reflection on my feelings about France and the trip thus far. Just a warning.

This was our last day in Paris, and we had a free day and were allowed to spend the day doing whatever we wanted. I actually had a suggestion and idea of something that I personally wanted to do for once. (Well I guess the bikes in Avingnon was my idea too. I just have good idea because I’m so awesome.) I picked up a brochure next to the elevator in the Holiday Inn about a permanent Salvador Dali museum some ways away from the city. I thought oh that’d be awesome if I could go see that. It turned out that other people were interested too which I was stoked about. So this is how my free day went: Starbucks, Sandwiches, Dali Museum, Hard Rock Café, Grand Arch, tourist shopping. Definitely a full busy day, and well worth it for the most part.

Of course I started out my day right again with an iced latte and pain au chocolat- my newfound love. I didn’t eat anything at the sandwhich shop because I’d just had a pastry. Natasha had bought internet for herself the night before this day and had gone online and mapped out all of our destinations and figured out which subway lines to take where and what not etc. etc., so that was pretty awesome. Our first destination was the Dali museum. We took the subway to wherever Natasha chose, and then walked a ways looking around for it. Eventually we did find it. It was awesome. I love Salvador Dali. He’s an artist I’ve known about since the beginning of high school and one I’ve always loved researching and finding more out about. At this museum they had a lot of his sculptures, numerous prints he had made, and throughout the museum they had various photos of him and tons of quotes of his. To put it simply, it was magical and I loved every minute of it. It was awesome to be in the presence of many original work of Salvador Dali. Definitely a cool experience. After we were done wandering around the museum, Natasha really wanted to go to the Hardrock Café she’d looked up. So we did. It was nice to have a restaurant menu in English again for once, and our waiter spoke seemingly fluent English, which was nice as well. I definitely was at a point where I was ready to hear the English language again. I was getting tired of not knowing what the heck I was ordering at restaurants and having to use sign language to communicate with anyone. My meal was decent… I mean it was American, and now I really prefer French food over American food any day. Once we ate Matt wanted to go to the Grand Arch, which is kind of like a modern version of the Arc de Triumph.. and you can actually see one from the other, which really bothers me actually. I don’t like being able to see the old antique roman arch then a huge modern square box off in the distance, but that’s just me. So we went there, I just followed people around because I wasn’t too interested in seeing a large square monument. It was nice to walk around though. I love walking, and that’s a good thing because I’ve walked more on this trip than I have any other time in my life.. or so it seems. I wanted to do some specific tourist shopping back where I saw things I wanted near the Notre Dame, so we headed back there as our last stop of the day. I got what I was looking for and we just headed back to the hotel from there.

It was a long day, lots of walking and visiting places, but that’s what everyday here has basically consisted of. It’s mostly sightseeing with a touch of photography and history lessons here and there. Plus shooting whenever I feel the need when we’re out and about. I was proud of myself to have spent all of my euros except for 0.18. Money souvenir I guess. I didn’t go out to dinner or anything, but I had half of a goat choose, tomato, lettuce baguette sandwich left over from another day, plus a half litre of European coke that I had to finish (no problem), and some candy- so there’s a full meal right there.

Thinking of how I felt about leaving France, I feel like it’s kind of bittersweet really. I made a little pros and cons table in my journal and this is what it turned out to look like:

(keep in mind this is kind of comparing what France has vs. what England has, or what I thought England would probably have)

Pros Neutral Cons

-food -dirty -language

-coffee -smoke -rude people

-pastries -$$$

-language -subways

-noise

So basically the pros were really what France has that England doesn’t, the cons are what England has that France doesn’t, and the neutral things are what both I’m assuming have, but I don’t really like nor dislike… except that was a lie because the first three listed under neutrals are all things that I don’t necessarily like.

I feel like I should kind of explain my thinking behind everything I listed, starting with the pros of France. The food, I shouldn’t have to say much about that- the food in France rules and I know London’s food won’t be as great. Coffee- another thing that shouldn’t need explanation- you can get a delicious fresh shot of espresso anywhere you go in France, and I love that. Pastries I guess fall under food as well, but when it comes to France I think they definitely deserve their own little subcategory because they’re all so extravagant and extra delicious. The language for me is a good and bad thing; bad: I barely know any French, and therefore it has made it a little more difficult to navigate around and communicate with people, but good: for things like when it comes to what I’m aiming for in my photography series from this trip. My reasoning behind that is that as I’ve stated earlier I’m going along the Street Photography route, and Street Photography is generally candid shots of people on the streets, out and about, doing what they want to do. It’s easier to get away with candid shots if you don’t speak the language of wherever you are because 1) people are more forgiving and understand that I’m a touristy American who they’ll never see again so they don’t care if I take a candid photo of them and 2) if someone does get angry, I won’t understand what they yell at me, and can therefore play the innocent unaware foreigner card. It’s perfect, and I’ll definitely miss that in England.

Moving on to the neutral column: the dirtiness. It’s incredibly dirty in France. The streets, the people, the bathrooms, (even though you usually have to pay 0.50 euro to even use a bathroom that supposedly is used to pay the employees who are supposed to clean them), everything just feels dirty in general. It also kind of smells too. I mean just walking down the street, quite often you can be just randomly hit with some mysterious stink that the wind has picked up. Not necessarily the most appealing thing about being in France. I was sure that England would kind of be the same way. Oh, the smoke. Everybody smokes. I think I’ve said something about that already. I mean I prefer walking through clouds of cigarette smoke to cigar smoke any day, but all the time, everywhere, everyone is always smoking. Quite convenient though, for those on the trip who do smoke. I did expect people to smoke in France, duh, but I had no idea that literally everyone I saw would. It’s kind of disgusting thinking about how blackened all of the citizens’ lungs are. Sucks for them. The money. Obviously in France, the currency is euros, and euros are more expensive than dollars, thus making everything more expensive. I know that pounds in England are even worth more than a pound, which makes everything even MORE expensive, which is just dumb, but I mean I chose to come here so I can get over it. The subways aren’t really something that I really mind that much. I put it in neutral because I feel like it can be a good and bad thing. Great system of getting around, but terrible if you get lost. And it’s also not the best thing in the world when you have over 40lbs. of luggage to lug around with you, because subways and metros move fast, and it’s hard to move fast when you’ve added weight to yourself. I’m going to have big biceps when I get back from all of the lifting and carrying and dragging I’ve done. They told us no rolling bags, but they were wrong, because everyone in Europe has a rolling back, and if I would have brought one I wouldn’t suffer from collar bone and shoulder bruises and neck abrasions from whenever I spend a day transferring and traveling. They look cool though so I’m over it. Lastly in the neutral list is the noise. Going to bed at night in France always sucked, because I don’t think the city ever sleeps with the exception of Sunday night. There’s always some festival or crazy party going on. There’s always some really loud karaoke bar nearby, or just any bar in general. I actually expected France to be a little more tame and quite. It could have a lot to do with the locations of our hotels and what not, but still- it’s been loud every night, and I hate that.

Finally, the cons. Language as I said earlier goes both ways. It sucks not being able to understand what is going on around you, then again sometimes it’s nice to be so isolated in some new country. It can easily go either way depending on the person. I loved it at first, but found myself frustrated towards the end of the trip- I just wanted to be able to read signs again and communicate with people correctly and properly without resorting to caveman motions to get points across. Interesting though, how even though people may not speak the same language, that we can still find some way to say what we’re trying to say. That’s precisely what makes us human. We can reason. Curiouser and curiouser. Rude people were here and there in France. We definitely got some dirty looks and glares and what not, but I also think that may have had a lot to do with our group as a whole, which sometimes I like and sometimes I hate. The thing I hate about our group is how loud people can get. That even bothers me back in America. I don’t like loud people, which is so hypocritical of me to say if you know me at all and the laugh I can produce. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, I have only genuinely laughed just a handful of times on this trip, otherwise I often find myself annoyed with the noise of my peers, or the subject of conversations. I’m speaking as if I’m so high and mighty and up on my horse and everyone else is below me, but there are some things that I think are immature, and apparently I’m the only one who thinks they are. Regardless, I chose to come on the trip, so I’m done complaining. Sometimes I just feel like I’m on the outside of this circle that is the travelers on the trip whom I feel will continue to keep in touch and hang out once back in the states, which unfortunately I’m not really sure how much hanging out I’ll do. I think a lot of that just has to do with me feeling forced to all of the sudden be best friends with everyone on this trip, and I don’t generally open up that fast, never have, never will.

So now that you know about me personally I’ll continue blogging about the trip because that’s why I made this blog. Hah.

The rest of this will just be the little bullets I wrote in my journal about my time here, but don’t fret; I’ll elaborate on everything for your sake of not sharing my brain.

-I’m really looking forward to a lot of tea and scones. That’s one thing I know without a doubt I will adore about England.

-Some people went to Disneyland (That’s what they chose to do with their free day. Three people went to Disneyland in Paris. I wasn’t interested because I can go to Disneyland in the states, so why should I spend my time there while I’m in Paris?)

-Time has gone by fast, yet slow; days are long, but time is flying. (This is a good thing in my head. It’s kind of the best of both worlds when throughout the day things seems long and stretched out- it really allows for me to take my time, but it’s also nice for time itself to continue to go by quickly because I do look forward to going back home to large bathrooms, air conditioning, ice and iced lattes, family, animals, and a boyfriend. It doesn’t help time go by fast though when the sun rises here around 5am and doesn’t set until after 10pm. France is psycho, so maybe that’s why people are always still out at night.)

-I still feel like I’m in school- it’s as if the week before I came was just a quick spring break, feeling like I’m in school is making the time go by fast (Also still feeling like I’m in school kind of sucks, because it’s like that week of summer break was an absolute tease, yet I still recognize that I’m pretty much on a vacation at the same time. It’s kind of an odd feeling really.)

-Mom said I won’t appreciate the trip and being here until I’m back--- I completely agree… I’m most focused on getting through the days, shooting, and looking for opportune moments and not getting lost or left behind. I also feel focused on getting home, once I’m back in my home environment I’ll be able to really let my travels sink in. (Totally true, I’m interested to see how I feel when I get back to the states. Will I miss Europe as much as I’ve been home? Probably not, but I will definitely miss bits and pieces of Europe here and there…)

-Traveling is hard… for so long, so unorganized, and with strangers

-Would love to come for a week and a half or so with family someday, but personally I think Colorado will always suffice.

-Roommate kept me up talking about boys and love…(That just really bothered me because I don’t know her at all, I don’t even really like laying in bed staying up late at night talking about boys, let alone hearing about it all from someone who I don’t know at all… that just really weirded me out, and also helped me realize that I’ve had and have a completely different experience with those subjects than she does. It was like being back in high school hearing girls gossip about boys or whatever.. totally not my thing. All in all this just really made me really appreciate my experience with boys, what my parents have taught me, and it definitely made me appreciate even more than before what I have with Zach. Don’t mean to get all gross and dumb and cheesy but seriously it’s something special and I’m like the most blessed and luckiest girl in the entire world. Really.)

-I’m probably the most blessed girl on the entire planet (I literally wrote that haha)

-Interesting experience… still not sure what to think about everything (This is just overall, and I feel like this relates back to the not being able to completely absorb everything until I get back home)

-Everything is all happening so fast (Literally and figuratively actually. The subways and metros and traveling is crazy fast, and this trip is flying by. Ha)

---How will I view the world once I’m back having seen another side of it?

---What will my photos communicate to the viewer… worried about unintentional emptiness (Not being able to see my photos and go through what I’ve shot so far kind of sucks, but I mean that’s film. I think it only really bothers me because I don’t think I’ve ever gone this long without developing film that I had recently shot. Generally I’ll develop within the same week I shoot so I can know if I need to shoot again or not. But, then again, the surprise and unknowing-ness of film is something that I’ve always loved.)

---How can I inject my personal artistic handwriting / emotion / feeling into the photos I choose to print?

-Hard to work with film really…

-Lots of rest tonight, finally got ice for my knee (we got back kind of early, and it was nice to have some time alone to just sit and baste in my own thoughts. I’m quickly discovering how important it is for me to get a decent amount of alone time in the day. Personal isolation here and there allows me to sustain my sanity. And there are ice machines on various floors in the hotel, but they are all old and dusty and have no electrical power going to them.. so that sucked because I desperately have needed to ice my knee for some time. All of the walking and extra weight has really made it act up. Thankfully, I think, one of the students decided to buy a mini keg for the night and found that the bar in the lobby has ice, and he had been bringing buckets up. So if he had not decided to have a mini keg party, I would not have been able to ice my knee. Hmm. Good for him I guess?)

-Nick and Nora’s Infinite Playlist is on tv but in French :[ (I was upset because I actually like this movie, even though it’s a chick flick, but I couldn’t understand any of it. One more con about France- French tv. Which makes sense, but sucks when you can only speak English)

And that’s where I stopped (finally) for the day. There’s everything about everything and every detail and thought that has gone through my head, for the most part, about France, traveling, people, and my experience abroad thus far. Again, I apologize for the extensive post, but really it’s hard to limit oneself having traveled and staying on another side of the world.

POST SCRIPT:

here's a boring photo of me, sitting in our hotel room at the Best Western, when we were staying in Lyon. Nothing special, but I took the photo while I was in France, so I guess that's neat.